The story is set many, many years ago when I was a little boy, actually four years old, and my parents took myself, my older brother, and little sister to southern France. On a very beautiful day, my mother took us all down to the hotel swimming pool. What we hadn’t known was that she’d gone out and hired the lifeguard to come and teach my older brother how to swim.

We arrived at this very enormous looking pool, certainly through the eyes of a four-year-old, and out of the corner of my eye, I captured the image of a young Frenchman walking in our direction – lifeguard kind of character – and he headed over directly to us. He must have known that my mother had selected the older of the three kids, because he walked right up to my brother, gave him an enormous smile. He said "Bonjour, mon petit ami." And with that, he scooped my brother up in his muscular arms, a bit like a piece of Styrofoam, and walked him down to the deepest end of the pool, where the high board was.

Now remember, I’m the second son, and I actually thought this looked pretty good. Well, it was a great idea. With that, he plunks my brother down on the side, right at the edge of the water. The lifeguard then turns over to a pile of little rings, and you’ll remember as a child, you have to put little life rings around children to support them in the water. He pulls one of these rings out and he pops open the air-stopper, and he begins to pat all the air out of the ring. From my eyes as the competitor, the younger brother, this is looking very, very interesting.

With that, he slides the empty ring around my brother’s waist. He gives him another smile, this one a little more devilish, and he says "Bonne chance, mon ami" and he throws him into the very deepest end of the pool. Well, as you might imagine, my brother immediately goes under. There’s nothing to hold him up, and I’m sitting there again, with kind of a hidden grin, as my brother goes under the water.

Meanwhile, I looked back. My little sister and mother are just in a panic, but they’re like deer in a headlight; they’re just not sure what to do. Meanwhile, the lifeguard is simply standing by, watching. My brother goes under, as I mentioned, and then he pops up, gasping for air and flailing. The next thing I know, he heads back under. At this point, even I’m getting in a panic; I’m thinking "Oh my gosh, this guy’s going to actually kill my brother. This is pretty bad!"

Well, my brother pops up again, and this time, he’s actually able to stay up. He’s figured out a fundamental swimming stroke called the doggy paddle, and he’s paddling furiously, and he’s able actually to keep himself up for the rest of the lesson.

Now, let me argue that that lesson is how organizations will develop their talent to be leaders. Let me also point out that it’s, in many ways, a flawed way of development, but let’s go back to the beginning of the story. What organizations say is that you’re good, you’re talented, and the way we are going to develop you is by throwing you into jobs that are over your head, because that seems to be the best way to develop people. The lifeguard in this story is your boss.

Now, you notice the boss does not go into the pool with you, and many bosses are actually busy, so they may actually head off to another swimming pool while you’re flailing around in your pool. But the boss says to him- or herself, you know "I’ve been in that water before; I figured out how to do it; I’m sure you will." They also put a little ring around you. What’s that? Well, that may be HR policies or a training program or the boss is saying "You know I’m here whenever you need a little help." But basically, it’s illusionary; the support’s not there.

Now, the idea is that you’ll figure out how to swim on your own. And if you don’t, well, the idea is that you just weren’t up to this task, and sadly, they’ll probably move you back to a smaller pool, and maybe even a kiddie pool, and maybe even take you out of swimming for good. The moral of the story is that you own your own development; that organizations have a fairly primitive view of how they develop talent, and it’s a shame; because ultimately the boss should help you, should be more direct; that life ring should be full of air, and we should move you more gradually into the deep end of the pool.

The lesson is that you, yourself, have to take initiative in order to develop yourself as a leader. You have to proactively seek out coaching and guidance. At times, it’ll be awkward, because you’ll feel you’re revealing your own weaknesses. You may have certain bosses who may not be open to people seeking out coaching and feedback, but find those opportunities wherever you can. You yourself may have to propose taking courses, seeking experiences, getting a personal coach; but in many ways, you own your development.

In the best organizations, they take it a step further. They actually reward bosses for stepping in and guiding and providing coaches; they actually teach bosses how to coach people. They actually reward bosses for people development. They think much more cautiously and deeply about jobs; and the right jobs, given who you are and what you need in this moment, versus "Well, let’s just throw them in, see how they do." They’re also very clever about how you transition into a job, and as you get to more senior levels, they provide support and feedback along the way, as you learn the skills you need in the transition.